Category: Samyama

My Grief Journey Led Me to Fully Embrace Presence
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^{I would not be living the life I am now without presence, and I would not have embraced presence as a daily practice without my grief journey.}

^{There was a time when I couldn’t see how meeting my grief could help me to find meaning again in my life, let alone experience joy. The first time I felt joy, I was filled with guilt. How could I ever feel joy again when my daughter was dead? I know this is a common experience because I often hear from clients that they feel guilt when they feel happiness or joy. They too wonder how that could be possible when their lives have been ripped apart when their loss occurred.}

^{The only way I was able to be with the devastating pain that arose after Leah died is through presence.}

^{I tried other things.}

^{I tried numbing my pain with distraction.}

^{I tried eating to anaesthetize my pain.}

^{I tried staying busy with mindless activities.}

^{I isolated myself from everyone.}

^{I wanted to curl up under my covers and never emerge.}

^{All of these things have their place, and can be helpful in small doses. When we use them as our daily coping mechanisms, we can get stuck in a place that doesn’t serve us, and in my case in a place that didn’t honor my daughter.}

^{For me, presence is the only thing that is able to unravel the painful feelings and bring me to a place of greater understanding. A place where everything is possible.}

^{Samyama is a present moment awareness practice that allows me to bring all of my feelings, one at a time into my heart.}

^{And it’s a practice, not a perfect. Some days it’s not as easy to quiet my mind and come into my heart, and those are the days that I bring whatever my head is spinning into my heart and let it begin to unravel the busy monkey mind. Samyama is helpful for so many things. I’ve come to rely on it for every decision I have to make, whether big or small.}

^{Here are some of the everyday uses for Samyama:}
- ^{Bringing something, anything into your heart. This allows the heart to hold it so that it can (eventually) shift.}
- ^{Asking a question that we’ve been pondering without receiving an answer that we can trust.}
- ^{Learning to trust you intuition.}
- ^{Recognizing your full body yes. (If it’s not a full body yes, it’s a no)}
- ^{Reducing stress.}
- ^{Learning how to get better at feeling all of our feelings. (rather than just feeling better)}
- ^{Bringing story (the one that your head tells you over and over again) to your heart so that you can unravel it and get to the feelings underneath the story.}
^{I’ve learned that presence holds everything that I need, always. As I continue to be devoted to presence, I continue to deepen my understanding of what it is.}^I^{t is the mystery; it is the unknown.}

^{I am learning how to dance with the mystery on the edge of the unknown.}

^{Will you join me?}

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July 12, 2022
Awakening Presence: Part of My Process

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There is an aching in my awareness, a need to be fully me in each moment. without needing anything to be different, a surrender to the essence of me, the wellspring of Nanciness that is that has been yearning to spring forth into life, to be breathed into being by the very desire of my heart, the desire that has been there from birth, my birthright.

What I want you to know is that grieving for my daughter got easier when I surrendered to this unseen force within me, this longing to follow my own rhythm, to dance my own dance.

I resisted becoming myself to please others, or so I thought.

I resisted becoming myself to fit in, to be loved, to be liked.

And each time I sold myself out for perceived reward my essence wilted, my wild nature lost its spirit, like a balloon with a slow leak, one so small it imperceptible to the eye.

My beautiful spirit, quashed by the idea that everyone else had all the right answers. When all along my own wild tender spirited heart was quietly waiting to be seen. To be seen exactly as she is.

I am wild, beautiful, messy, and quiet.

And no words can accurately define my True Nature. I surrender to not knowing. My grief journey gave me a huge lesson in not knowing. Before that there were times when I touched the not knowing, always with conditions. I told myself, I’m willing to be myself in this situation, as long as x y or z doesn’t happen. (How many times to we rationalize our actions just one last time?)

Or I’m willing to do that as long as so-and –so isn’t offended. Living my life waiting for permission and approval from everyone and no one was exhausting!

It’s so much easier to be me!

When I need a recalibration of my mindfulness practice, I return to this practice; accepting each and every feeling, situation, mood as I go throughout my day with out attachment. Allowing myself to feel all of the feelings without needing to change them, even if they threatened to take me back to a place of knowing and control, which for me were places of death to my spirit. I am navigating my days moment by moment and everything can change in each moment.

I’m learning once again the micro nuance of present moment.

When someone asks me if I get tired of talking about grief, doesn’t it keep me in the missing of my daughter, I want to scream, NO, it’s the only thing that makes sense to me, and I’m not stuck anywhere. If I were stuck I wouldn’t be able to feel the pain of her death, of not being able to have a relationship with her physically here on this earth. I can see now that Divine arrangement is perfect, whatever lesson my spirit needed, hers was willing to assist me with, and mine hers. The enormity of this is more than my head can figure out, and I surrender again to being willing to not knowing. I get to be me this time around.

Grief, what is it?

The natural reaction to any loss, I know, but what is it really? To some it’s the state of trying to hold on to the way things used to be. To me it’s the passage to honor what was as we move into what is next.

Death is a natural part of life.

The too early deaths, violent deaths, while they may be devastating are still a part of the stuff that happens. Too early is story, violent is difficult to understand, yet when it happens it is reality. Living in our world gives us the opportunity to feel our feelings, all of them.

What is my why?

Why do I do what I do?

Why did I write my book?

The simple answer is it was easier to write it than to continue resisting the call to write it. If I were to go deeper into that, I am being called to share my wisdom. One piece of wisdom is that by feeling all of our feelings we can move through the feelings that make up grief and find our own why, our own reason to go on living. If we all stopped living when the first person in our family died, we would be trying to control our own destiny, we all have a certain time on this earth in form.

For Leah it was 17-1/2 years. If I had known that going in, would I still have had her? You bet, I wouldn’t have missed one minute of the bright light that she was, that she is. I wouldn’t have missed one minute of the myriad of lessons that we learned together. Yes, losing her is too high a price to pay to not be who I am meant to be, that’s my why, to live the life I was meant to live through the initiation of being her mother, before she was born, while she was here, and after she died. Divine arrangement knew that we were the right souls for this journey. Why I’m the one still here, I don’t know, and I’ve given up the need to know the reason.

I’m here because I am.

And while I am I intend to live fully, feel fully, love fully and help others to do the same.

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July 11, 2022
Beginning to Reclaim My Life

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You may be wondering if it is possible to find meaning, purpose, or even joy again in light of your loss.

I thought the same thing. I didn’t think it was possible to live that life I was meant to live.

As I began to process my grief with Samyama I began to notice that every time I was able to bring my feelings into my heart and allow my heart to hold them, I would receive blessings and grace, every single time.

I began to realize that the blessings and grace were the exact gifts that I needed to continue on my journey. When I saw how powerful Samyama was at helping me to process my grief, I knew I was being called to show others what is possible too.

Saying yes to my grief journey and engaging my difficult feelings has helped me to reclaim my life. In a way that I didn’t think was possible. I am now living the life I was meant to live. I am doing fulfilling work that I love.

My relationships are filled with love, and laughter.

I play more, and know how to have fun.

Moreover, I want to have fun, and laugh, and travel.

There was a time when I didn’t think any of this would be possible. Even when I first received the message that losing Leah is too high a price to pay to not live the life I was meant to live, I had no idea that I would be able to welcome joy back into my life.

Grief and all of the feelings that come with it are hard, overwhelming, and scary.

It’s counter intuitive to think that if we welcome those painful feelings that we can move through them and we can feel the rebirth of a sunrise after a long dark night.

I get it, AND I did it anyway. What I know for sure is that we are meant to live our best lives, even in light of all of our grief and sorrows; and that when we do; we open ourselves to receiving blessings and grace beyond our wildest dreams.

The best version of you is waiting just on the other side of the cloud engulfing your vision right now.

The you that has always been there.

The you that calls out to be seen in the middle of the night.

The you that you that you are longing for.

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July 10, 2022
The Day My Life Changed Forever

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Travel back with me to November 3, 2000.

It was a Friday that started out like any other. I worked as a project manager for a contracting company, and my office was in a construction trailer on the campus of NIH in Bethesda Maryland where the project was located. Mid-morning the campus police knocked on the door to my office. When they entered, they told me there had been an accident, and that my daughter Leah was in the hospital. I asked what had happened, and I received no answer. I felt alone, and scared in that long ride to the hospital.

When we arrived at the hospital; we were greeted by Leah’s principal and guidance counselor. They told us that Leah had been in a car accident, that she had hit a tree, the only tree in the middle of a cornfield, and that she was in surgery. I paced as I waited for surgery to be complete, shaking, unable to calm myself.

We called our son who was in college, and he made plans to join us. After an eternity, the surgeon came to talk with us. He told us she had massive brain damage, she was in a medically induced coma because of brain swelling, and talked about prognosis.

I knew she would get well, so I didn’t listen to that, I just wanted to see her.

After 5 days, she had no brain activity, and had had none for several days. We were asked to do what no parent should ever have to do, to make the decision to remove her from life support. The night we made the decision, and left the hospital I crumbled. I thought my life was over too. I was in shock, numb to all my feelings. I just wanted her back. How could I continue my life without my daughter’s physical presence in it?

I withdrew from daily living, from caring for myself; I wanted to be left alone.

Shortly after Leah died I received this message,

“Losing Leah is too high a price to pay to not live the life you were meant to live.”

Those words felt like a soul message, like they were being seared into my heart. When I heard them, I was determined to do what ever it took to find the life I was meant to live. At the time, I had no idea what that would be, or what it would look like. I was determined to honor Leah’s Legacy to me, to be true to myself, no matter what it took.

It took a lot. I had to dig deep, and there were some days I didn’t want to do that. I wanted to hide. I wanted to isolate. I didn’t want to be seen as the daughterless mother that I was.

I wanted to suppress and push down my feelings anyway I could. Every time I did that for too long, those words would come back to me. “Losing Leah is too high a price to pay to not live the life you were meant to live.”

My daughter was continuing to urge me forward, helping me to excavate that life.

There were many twists and turns along the way. My grief journey was not a linear one. I was all over the place, and she continued to remind me that my life still had importance, that there was meaning to be found, that she would not settle for me living a joyless life, not the girl whose laugh was one of the most mentioned by her friends.

One of the first things I did was turn to a practice that was already a familiar part of my life at the time, a present moment awareness practice called Samyama. It helped me to be with my overwhelming and intense feelings in each moment, and to be with the pain of losing my daughter without the stories my head wanted to spin, all of the what ifs, and if onlies.

When I saw how powerful Samyama was at helping me to process my grief, I was called to become certified as a Samyama Practitioner. That was an indication to me that I was moving toward the life I was meant to live.

My greatest passion is helping others who are grieving reclaim their lives in a way that honors their loved one, so that they too can find meaning again in their lives. I’ve learned that the life I was meant to live continues to evolve and I continue to say yes to my journey.

I discovered that my grief journey was one of transformation.

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July 9, 2022
Learning to Play (Again)

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As an adult, play has always been elusive. There have been many New Year’s Days when I have set an intention to play more.

When I talked about one of the reasons I was drawn to work with D after we moved to Maryland, I noticed that I shared that we did many fun things together. Maybe that was one of the draws.

I remember one time when I was trying to reconnect with play. I made a list of all of the things I loved to do as a child. The things that made me forgot time and took me to a place of pure exhilaration and joy. I admit those times were few and far between, even as a child, yet I wanted that feeling back.

I recognized that in order to play in this way, I needed to be present. I began to make the connection between presence and play.

Some of the things that took me to a place of utter joy as a child was ice skating, sledding, roller skating, ballet, coloring, (outside the lines), and swimming. Later I enjoyed dancing, drawing, being outside, playing tennis, and cooking.

Ice skating was the easiest thing to connect with because I did it just about every day after school in the winter. Our park had a huge ice skating rink, and I loved to skate more than anything else. About 6 years ago I decided I wanted to ice skate again. I was 63, and part of me was afraid that I was pushing fate to get back on skates after not doing so for a very long time. We lived in Raleigh at the time, so I found an indoor rink, and I went ice skating again. It was exhilarating and fun! It took me a while to feel steady on the skates, yet I did. After that I knew that it was possible to play again.

In my quest to have fun since then I have done ballroom dancing with Dan, stand up paddle boarding, collaging, tennis, cooking, yoga, and kayaking.

I’ve also changed my wardrobe to be more in alignment with who I am, and I’m wearing more colors in new ways. I’ve added purple and blue highlights to my hair. All of these things connect me back to myself, and help me to live my best life.

My latest entry into play is Arya. Play is her primary way to interact with the world. It’s how she learns about her relationship to everything, And she is so eager to invite me into her world.

Despite all of these examples, play does not come easily to me. It’s not something that comes naturally to me. I schedule in as a part of my self-care. I used to think play needed to be spontaneous to be real play. And if I couldn’t be spontaneous, I couldn’t play.

I’ve decided that scheduled play is better than no play, and once I’m engaged, I and playing, it doesn’t matter if it was spontaneous or not.

Learning to play again is one of the gifts of my grief journey.

It I hadn’t said yes to meeting my grief the way that I did I would not have been able to feel the joy of play, my own, or my granddaughter’s.

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July 8, 2022
Presence and My Twists and Turns

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As I began to write this blog, I was going to say that presence had many twists and turns. What is more true is that my journey with presence and was the thing that was circuitous.

Often, I would rely on my head to explain presence to me.

I was used to depending on my head for just about everything I did in my life up until then. I would analyze and turn things over in my head endlessly, never really trusting the answer that I received.

When Samyama seemed elusive, I would spend time trying to explain it so that my head could understand the mechanics of it. Thinking that if I could only get my head on board, Samyama would flow effortlessly. Each time I did this, it wasn’t until I returned to my heart that I would once again remember that it was my heart, not my head that understood the present moment. And that understanding came without needing to know why or how it worked.

Whenever I asked for guidance in my personal life, the answer I always received was “Be present.”

It took a long time before I could fully trust that guidance. At some level it was something I already knew, and on another level I was filled with terror to trust the present moment. I thought I would freeze and not know what to do, or how to respond.

I was already trusting presence in my work as a Samyama facilitator. When I work with a client, I implicitely trust the guidance that comes through my heart in each moment. That skill was honed during my apprenticeship.

Part of my journey has been learning the role that my childhood wounds had in the terror response I felt when I was called to be present. I had to unravel those old stories, the ones that had me freezing up in school when I didn’t know an answer to a question, or when someone asked me a question and I couldn’t easily find an answer. Or when I knew I would stutter when I spoke.

I attribute my daily Samyama practice with helping me to do just that. I learned that I could always trust my heart to give me an answer. Always, it never failed me.

Recently I’ve been called to be even more present, to rely on this present moment for all of my needs. I was scheduled to do a 5-minute speech for a mastermind that I am a part of. Each time I started to plan the talk, I would not receive any insight, and the “Be present” message would arise. I finally decided to listen to that message, and the speech went great. I had the work=ds I needed when I needed them. I was cohesive and clear. And I got great feedback.

My soul was smiling the whole while I was peaking, and as I received my feedback.

This is one of the many examples of how presence serves me when I trust it completely.

July 7, 2022
When Did I Know I was Ready?

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After I became certified as a Samyama Practitioner, it took several more years and a few twists and turns before I was ready to say yes to walking with others on their grief journeys.

I knew my corporate job was no longer serving me and I was being called to do work that was in alignment with my true heart. My heart that always whispered to me my true value throughout my life, yet I never believed it until I took time to unravel the old stories that kept me stuck in childhood wounds.

I took early retirement from that job in the summer of 2013. The year before I had taken several certifications to do work in a completely different field. It was important work, it was work that the world needed, it was work that benefited my personally. It was not my work.

I was just about ready to launch this new business, and I was at a business retreat to get clarity and discern my next steps. The second day of the retreat consisted of mastermind hot seats. Of 6 women, I was to go last. All day long I witnessed miraculous shifts and transformations as each woman took her turn in the hot seat. I knew that none of that would happen for me, because I knew my next steps, I just needed a clear plan.

When it was my turn, I began by saying that the initiation of Leah’s death has led me to do work that is in alignment with my heart. The leader of the retreat looked at me and said.

”So then why aren’t you helping others through their grief journeys?”

In that moment my soul said,

“Finally!”

In that one instant I knew I was ready. It didn’t matter that my new website was ready to go live the following week. It didn’t matter that I had spent almost a year getting ready for a business that would never be launched. I was ready, in that moment. Another huge lesson of presence.

My remaining time in the hot seat consisted of creating the bones of Being With Grief, including the name. That evening I registered the domain name. I was living what is possible when I do my work, plant the seeds in past moments, and stay present to receive the manifestation of the present moment I was in.

On the way home, I wrote a newsletter to my list and told the story I told here, and announced the shift in my work. When I returned home I had a request for 2 clients, not my first clients, my first grief clients that I called in to my business. I had confirmation that I was on the right track.

From that day on I knew my calling was to walk with others on their grief journey.

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July 6, 2022
My Journey WIth Presence

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I’ve talked a lot about presence in my work, in my videos, and in my writings. If you are happening upon my work for the first time, you may have questions about exactly what presence is, and how it impacts my life.

I first discovered presence named as presence in 1994.

I had recently moved from Chicago to Maryland. My children were 13 and 10 at the time, and I was concerned about their adjustment to our move. I had left all of my responsibilities behind, and my intention was to give my attention fully to assist them to find their places in our new surroundings.

We landed in our new home mid-summer, and before school started. I spent time with them exploring our new neighborhood, introducing them to some of the advantages of our new life that may not have been evident to them. They had no friends there, (they assured me they would never have any friends again) so it was the 3 of us exploring during the week, joined by Dan on the weekends.

When they started school, I was involved, yet I wasn’t as busy as I had been before we moved. I also had no friends there yet, and I found myself wanting to find ways to help myself acclimate to our new location. I didn’t know exactly what I was looking for; yet I knew I was not looking for a therapist in the traditional sense. I had spent many years in therapy. I was looking for something else.

That something else was inner work. I didn’t describe it as inner work at the time, I don’t think the information I read about my new mentor facilitator (D) did either. I don’t remember what drew me to her. We did a lot of fun things together, dancing and movement; dream work, (where I got to act out my dreams) writing prompts, and present moment awareness.

A practice called Samyama.

I was drawn to Samyama immediately, yet I only experienced it in our sessions. I had not yet figured out that it was a practice that I could do on my own, or that I could return to it whenever I wanted or needed it. I worked with D for several years, becoming more and more comfortable in the present moment, even remembering times when I had been present in the past without recognizing it as presence. By the time I stopped my first round of work with D, I did remember to practice presence on my own. I was beginning to see the subtle power of it, and it was a resource that assisted me in my everyday life.

After Leah died, I knew instinctively that I would return to Samyama and to my sessions with D.

This time our sessions were all Samyama, helping me to meet the grief and unravel the overwhelming painful feelings that were threatening to suffocate me. I was able to meet the painful feelings, one at a time in my heart, and allow my heart to hold them, and eventually shift them. (In my book I share an account of one of our Samyama sessions during this time) When I saw how powerful Samyama was at helping me to meet my grief, right where it was, I entered an apprenticeship to be certified as a practitioner

It was during this time that I was invited into the Temple of the Sacred Feminine, a women’s mystery school led by Sheila Foster, who also created the Samyama certification apprenticeship. It was in my temple work that my understanding of presence grew, and my journey back to myself was nurtured. I was introduced to a community of women who were all at various stages in their own journeys. Together we were in service to each other and to the present moment.

My understanding of presence grew exponentially as I continued to meet my grief through Samyama, and during my four-year apprenticeship. At the completion of my apprenticeship, I was not yet ready to step into grief work, I was not far enough along on my own grief journey.

I began offering Samyama as a resource for daily living, much like I used it when I was first introduced to it. I was still working in my corporate job, and I offered sessions in the evening or on weekends. Even though I hadn’t asked for grief clients, around 75% of the clients I worked with, both during my apprenticeship and right after brought grief to our sessions.

I was already being prepared for my future work.

I wasn’t yet ready to acknowledge the call.

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July 5, 2022
Creating Flow and Ease

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I mentioned in an earlier writing that I’ve heard the whispering of my longings since I was a little girl.

I didn’t grow up in a space that encouraged me to listen to my own inner guidance. I don’t even know if that was a part of the greater consciousness back then. I do know that all of my life I’ve felt like I didn’t fit in. I felt different than everyone else I met. As a child I thought that meant that something was wrong with me. I spent my life trying to figure out what that was, so I could be like everyone else. It didn’t help that I grew up with a severe stutter that began when I was 8 years old. I already knew that the stutter made me different than anyone in my classroom, as no one else had the same difficulty speaking. I spent most of my time trying not to get called on in class, and when I knew it was inevitable, I was busy running through my head alternative words for the letter sounds that gave me the most difficulty when speaking. I was never present; I really had no concept of what it meant to be present in those days.

And yet it was in those fleeting moments of whispered longing that I caught my first glimpse of presence, even though I wasn’t aware of it at the time. There was a part of me that always knew that the life I am living now was possible, without even knowing what that was.

Only by being present could my heart be heard above the stress of trying to be what I thought I was expected to be.

I’ve recently been connecting the dots between all the times I heard my heart nudging me, letting me know that even though I was different, there was nothing wrong with me. I remembered all of the times a younger version of myself was touched by a deeper ache to know myself, and let her take the lead.

This was long before Leah was even a part of my life, long before I knew Dan, or thought about having children. That strong yearning was laying the foundation for my future work. Being different, and claiming my unique self, helped me to step into a body of work that was not a “popular” choice for an entrepreneur. I was deeply called to do this work, and there was no decision. I’ve often said that choosing not to follow my own grief journey in the way that I did would have been much easier that choosing to follow it. And the same is true of walking with others on their grief journeys.

Saying yes to this calling has always felt like a choiceless choice, something that I have been preparing for my entire life, and something that is a deep and sacred honor.

I did not look at options for what to do after corporate life and settle upon grief work as the ideal choice for a second career. (yes, there is a little sarcasm in that last sentence)

I’ve found that even though grief changed me, it also brought me back my true essence. Today I don’t think of myself as different, or even unique, I am merely me, the person I’ve always been. The difference now is that I ‘ve fully stepped into the fullness of my being, and yes, I even love myself, all the parts of myself, even the parts that are not always easy to love.

There have been many twists and turns in the course of my life that brough me from the little girl who lacked confidence, was unsure of her worth, and tried too hard to be someone she could never be, to the, woman that I am today.

Today I get to live fully, I get to play, and connect with my family in a way that seemed elusive to me early on I my journey. I am someone who has experienced great loss in my life, yes even the death of my teenaged daughter Leah over 21 years ago.

What I know about how I met that grief is that I was already used to the uncomfortable and painful parts of trying to be someone I could never be. This was different, yet is still carries the template of that experience. When I was in early grief and feeling the deep loss of my daughter, I recognized what was necessary to first dive into that well of grief, and then come out of it with the resources I needed to continue to create a life worth living, even after the death of my daughter.

Finding my own flow and ease was a long, hard, fought battle.

A battle that I had to relinquish to allow the ease and flow into my life. Again, presence was fundamental to learning this lesson. I’ve been on a journey with presence for over 25 years. It took me a long time to learn to trust the present moment. And even after I did, there were times that I did not turn to it for one reason or another.

As I turned more and more to presence as practice in my daily life, I learned to let go of holding on to the past, and trying to grasp the future.

The more I became present, the more my life flowed and the more I experienced ease.

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July 3, 2022
Milestones and Holidays
Nothing can knock the wind out of our sails like the approach of a holiday or a milestone day.

Even after over 21 years my daughter’s birthday can bring tears. Mother’s Day is bittersweet. The year-end holidays can bring sadness. All of these occasions also bring immense joy and celebration too. I didn’t come to this place easily. It took attention to what I needed each year, along with the intention to listen to that guidance.

One of the things that make holidays so difficult are the associative memories that come with them.

Memories of Christmas tree shopping and decorating were so difficult for us that we did not put up a tree for over 15 years after the first 2 years. The first two years we tried to do things the way we always did, and the memories were too difficult. It brought all of us down, and we just wanted the holidays to be over. We kept expecting to see Leah come bounding around the corner with her exuberance, and she wasn’t there.

We started traveling during the holidays, visiting places we had never been before. A change of scenery helped to ease our tender hearts. We still missed her yet being in a place we hadn’t shared with her made space for us to breathe a little deeper. So often in those first years it felt like we were holding our breath.

Here are things that helped us, that may help you as well.
- Change your traditions. No matter what holidays you celebrate, ask yourself what traditions are too painful right now; what new traditions can you do that will still honor your loved one? Ask this question each year because your needs may change from year to year.
- As you anticipate milestone days, whether a birthday, or anniversaries of accidents and deaths, ask yourself what you need this year. Do you need to take time by yourself? Where? In nature, or at a special place to you and your loved one? Or do you need to be surrounded by friends and family. There is no right answer, only you know what you need from year to year, and from milestone to milestone.
- Make space for feelings to arise at each of these occasions. Even though you may have cultivated resources to meet your grief, the feelings at this time can be especially strong. Allowing time to be with those feelings can help them move through.
Holidays and milestone days remind us of the passage of time like nothing else does.

We may wonder about how our lives would have been different if our loved one was still with us physically. Those musings have threatened to take me to a place of no return, to a place of wallowing in my loss, without wanting to find a way out. Yet each time I have found myself there, scrupulous devotion to my practices: Samyama, gratitude, self-care, and creativity always bring me back to myself.

My grief journey has been about coming back to the self I didn’t even know I was missing. Everything I’ve gone through along the way is in service to that becoming.

What practices or rituals help you come back to yourself?
February 7, 2022