At the time of Leah’s death, Samyama had been a part of my life for seven years. It wasn’t a practice that I turned to daily; it was there when I needed a little more assistance contacting to my feelings. I didn’t realize at the time that Samyama would be my lifeline as I began [...]
This chapter foreshadows the birth of my work with clients. As I read about my experience of early grief, I get a sense of going through that time with blinders on. From where I am today, I can see a bigger picture. Back then I felt lost in a maze, not knowing which way to [...]
This was a hard chapter to read, and as I recall it was a hard one to write. It tells the story of my relationship with Leah and some of the struggles we had as she was growing up. I remember when I was writing it that I wanted to be true to the [...]
As I reread this chapter, I immediately saw the roots of my intuition playing out in my life. I saw the tentative way that I mothered my children, and the fledgling awareness of my inner voice making itself known to me as I faced the so many losses. My inner knowing was strong, yet it [...]
This year as I sat with my feelings, I noticed them circling around me, waiting for their turn. It’s almost like they trust me now, so they can wait quietly until I am ready for them.
In this chapter we find out that Leah has been in a car accident on her way to school. She hit a tree, the only one in the middle of a cornfield. As I reread my words and remember the feelings, I was struck by just how much I wasn’t prepared to learn what had [...]
When I said yes to beginning this project of revisiting my book and sharing insights from where I am today, I didn’t consciously know that I would be rereading my words. I am sure I knew it on some level, and if those thoughts had made it to the surface, I may not have said [...]
After I began helping others to navigate their grief, I thought to myself, “This is the life I was meant to live”; referencing the message I heard shortly after Leah died that said, Losing Leah is too high a price to pay to not live the life you were meant to live. About this time, [...]
One of the biggest changes I've experienced as I traveled along my grief journey is speaking up; I've reclaimed my voice. As I prepared to bring my book into the world I needed to cultivate the capacity to tell my story in the way I was being called to tell it. This was very [...]
I’ve been receiving the following message in my morning meditation: “Show up unapologetically as yourself in everything that you do.” There was a time when that would have sent me down a rabbit hole or into a tailspin. What if “they” don’t like the fullness of who I am? (Who is this mythical “they” [...]
