Being with Grief has an on-going project called Gift Circle. The idea is that we all have gifts and that we find meaning by sharing these gifts with others. The work that I have been called to do and offer here is based on this idea.
I grew up during the 60 & 70’s during the height of what is now called Classic Rock.
The influence of music and sound in our lives cannot be denied. So much of our culture is wrapped up in the sounds bytes of our generation. Today, as I watch my grand daughter begin to sound out words, I have been thinking a lot about her small first words and sounds. It makes me think about interjections. You may not recognize that word but you are sure to recognize what they are. Specifically the words that come to mind are “OH”, “AH”, “EH” and “UH”.
So much emotion can be contained in these simple sounds. In fact, many of these simple sounds have multiple meanings. Take for example “OH”. How many times have you used this sound and in what variety of ways? OH can express passion, surprise and even disappointment depending on the emotion you are experiencing.
I would like to extend an invitation to you to explore these simple words as a way to unlock and re-program ourselves to be more in touch with the emotion that they convey in a 30 minute “ZOOM” call. In my work, I have found that many of us are constricted in expressing our emotion due to the way we were raised. The stereotypical processing of “Be strong – Be silent and Do not show your emotion” had a profound affect on how we approach life and relationships. Being in touch with how these feeling words are used can begin the process of exploring the many emotions that we have available.
I was either, sad, mad, glad, fearful or shamed.
In the personal work that I have done to unlock my own limited emotional response, I realized that I had access to 5 basic emotions. I was either, sad, mad, glad, fearful or shamed. Living in this restricted emotional state did not allow me to fully appreciate and connect with my partner, my family or friends. Now after 45 years of marriage, I’d like to share some of the key ideas that kept us connected.
Being able to express emotion in a healthy way is important to any relationship. I was made aware of how I was not in touch with some of the more complex emotions when our daughter, Leah died. My wife, Nancy has written that the death of our daughter was not only devastating to us but that Leah’s death exposed the cracks in our relationship that needed work. If you are emotionally bound and unable to provide empathy and compassion then being there for each other is simply impossible.
There are those who would argue that being able to express emotion is not needed.
Belief that showing emotions somehow weakens and makes you vulnerable is a limited mindset. My story demonstrates that vulnerability can make a relationships stronger. Healthy relationships and intimacy depend on the expression of emotion. My invitation to understand how emotions are conveyed in simple words demonstrate the power of sound. Being able to express even simple emotion is difficult for some. This offering is geared with this in mind by starting simple and exploring sound. I put together a program using the interjections above to express your unexpressed emotions through breath work and sound. If you are interested and would like to learn more reach out on the contact page to let me know.