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Author: Nancy Loeffler

  • A Surprise from the Past- Guest Blogger

    As I travel on my own journey, I have come to understand that there is a rhythm to the events that make up a life, a journey, an initiation. I know that the moments that make up our journey appear at precisely the right time for us. I was reminded of this once again this past weekend. My husband Dan received a package in the mail that put him in touch with his dad. As I witnessed the events unfolding, I realized that if it had arrived at another time, he might not have been ready to truly receive the gift contained in that small package. I will let him tell you the story.

    It’s funny how your memory gets jogged and the flood of images, sounds and smells can come back to you transporting you to a time when you first absorbed them. This weekend I had that experience. I returned home on Friday to Raleigh to find a package waiting for me sent by a friend from the old neighborhood.
    In the package was one of my father’s notebooks. My old school friend, Randy found the notebook while relocating an office that my dad had once worked for. As near as I can guess this notebook had survived more than 75 years to finally come to my hands. The page title and notes indicated my dad had begun this notebook while in school and continued taking notes as he began his career in architecture.

    The feeling of connection was strong as I held this small book in my hands and looked upon the fine precise lettering and sketches of his familiar handwriting. I was transferred once more back to the days when that signature was a coveted addition to my report card as an acknowledgement of my schoolwork. The connection was to my younger self and the feeling of comfort I got remembering this man who gave me so much.

    In thinking about these memories I remember the smell of aftershave, the scent of cigars, the images of him working freelance to make a little side money to cover those extra expenses that always seemed to be needed. I am strongly indebted to the lessons he gave by his example and how they shaped me and my relationships with Nancy and our kids.

    These bittersweet memories filled my weekend as I paged through old estimating guidelines, sketches, and notes from his art history lessons. His careful notes in the margins of the cost guides reminded me of his disciplined and principled nature. Seeing these now I could acknowledge that he passed much of these same qualities down to me in my career. It was like he had reached out to me where I am in my journey now.

    My father passed away in June of 1977, grief has mellowed into memories of his smiles, his cantankerous nature, and his opinionated rants. We had a house of love, a childhood of bumps and bruises and a dad who showed me how to be a man, raise a family and build a simple meaningful life based on hard work and dedication. Thanks Dad.

    Dan Loeffler Guest Blogger

  • Reflections on the Unknown

    I am writing this blog a couple of days early. I want to engage you during this in-between time. The days between the holidays are a time of reflection for me. A time when everyday life slows down a little bit. This has been especially true for me since our daughter’s passing. As we adjusted our holiday traditions, the events that were not meaningful dropped away. I have come to look forward to this slowing down as an invitation to pause, to reflect on the past year and to set my intentions for the coming year.

    I don’t make new years resolutions. In the past when I have made them I was always striving for perfection.

    Striving for perfection has always been a set up for failure for me.

    When I failed, I would beat myself up because I could not meet an unrealistic goal. Those goals were often about looking a certain way or acting a certain way to be loved. These goals are paraded across our consciousness by the media again and again. It was not until I had the gift of time for reflection that I was able to unplug from all of those messages and I let go of striving for perceived perfection.

    Reflection, pausing, taking time to listen to your heart’s longing, all of these things bring up uncomfortable feelings. We do not like to feel uncomfortable. We think perfection will bring an end to our discomfort. When we are grieving, whether for a loved one or for the way things used to be, we are thrust into the unknown. The unknown is uncomfortable because we like to think we are in control of what is happening in our lives, but are we? Do we really know anything about what will happen or when it will happen?

    Learning to navigate the unknown is a part of learning to live with loss.

    This is something only your heart can understand. Your mind will try to convince you that you can get control of your life. Take some time as this year ends to reflect on the past year and to start to get comfortable with the unknown. Here are a few ways to begin.
    Choose a time when you will not be disturbed.

    Begin by closing your eyes and getting quiet. Bring your attention to your heart center. It may help to place a hand on your heart. Become aware of your breathing. Just sit for a moment and breathe into your heart center. Allow yourself to be here in this moment, with nothing else to do.

    If you are new to this practice, take some time to sit in your heart in this way a few times a day, for a minute or two. This alone may be uncomfortable if you are not used to it. Continue in this way until you become more comfortable sitting in this way.

    When you are ready, after you bring your attention to your heart, become aware of any feelings in your heart. Allow yourself to feel the feeling exactly as it is, as it appears in this moment. Stay in this place as long as you can, continuing to be aware of your breathing. When your head chimes in to judge what you are doing, notice what it is saying, and for this moment, bring your attention back to your heart. There is no need to do anything with what your head is telling you.

    This is the practice of Samyama.

    The more you sit in your heart in this way, the more your practice will deepen. The present moment was unknown to most of us because we were not used to paying attention to it. We busied ourselves each moment of each day to distract ourselves from our discomfort. By learning to bring attention to our hearts and sit in the silence we find there, we allow space for our feelings to arise. We allow space for the unknown to be here with us. You can cultivate the practice of Samyama so that when you feel discomfort, or unsure of the unknown you can bring attention to your heart and allow the feelings that arise to be there, and when that happens they shift, and you will receive the gift of the present moment.

    My wish for you as we end 2014 and begin 2015 is that you have time and space for reflection. That your reflections will bring inspiration that will accompany you on your journey into whatever is next for you.

    I’d love to hear from you, leave a comment below, or send me an email

  • Radical Self Care

    This past week I was again reminded the importance of self-care. I used to think that I was being selfish when I took time to do things that gave me pleasure or nourished me. Now I know that self-care is necessary. Without self-care I can’t give my clients my best self. Without self-care I feel depleted of energy. Without self-care I feel more stressed and my grief can feel overwhelming.

    I have begun to call my self-care practice radical self-care.

    What do I by radical? When you hear the word radical, you may think I mean extreme or drastic measures. A regular reader of my newsletters knows that I recommend the opposite of extreme or drastic measures.

    When I think of radical what comes to mind is a difference in the way something is usually perceived at its core level, or a different way of doing things from conventionally accepted practices.

    Here are some of my recent practices;

    • I sit in mediation each morning. I have been craving this quiet time. It sets the tone for the day. I ask for guidance, express gratitude, and pray for loved ones. How long are you willing to set aside each morning to sit in silence or meditate? It can be 5 or 10 minutes.
    • I move my body each day in a way she wants to move. I have been noticing that my body has wanted more movement. Try this yourself and notice the difference between forced exercise that you dread and movement that stirs your soul.
    • I do yoga 2-3 times per week. Yes, this is movement, and for me it deserves a separate mention because it is so much more than just movement. It is a practice that has brought me further in touch with my body. I found out last week that one of the superintendents on Dan’s job does a yoga class each Wednesday evening on the job site. These are construction guys. How inspiring is that?
    • I am getting regular massages and acupuncture. My body needs this kind of support. What does your body need to feel supported?
    • I am getting out in nature more. Watching the changing of the seasons is fascinating to me.

      What fascinates you?

    • I take a moment between activities to sit in silence, have a cup of tea, or watch the birds.

      What can you do for a few minutes each day to help you relax and pause in between the busy activities of your day?

    As you can see, radical self-care can be chosen to fit how you are feeling at any given time. You may have different practices that feed you. When you begin to take the time for yourself and care for yourself you will have more capacity to be there for others, and your grief may be a little less overwhelming.

    Choose things that support you and your body. If you are not used to taking time for yourself and don’t know where to start, make a list of all the things you like to do and pick one thing from your list to do each day. You may be surprised how your body being responds when you take care of yourself. Let me know your thoughts.

     

    I wish you and your family a holiday season filled with traditions that nurture you where you are right now. Remember you can forego any tradition that feels too overwhelming this year. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself space to process your grief during this time.

    In service to love,

    Nancy

  • Navigating Grief During the Holidays

    We are in the midst of the holiday season. Thanksgiving is just over. Dan and Pete’s birthdays were this week, and Christmas decorations are going up all over town. If you have tuned in to my Navigating Grief During the Holidays phone calls, you have heard me talk about ways to enter this season with a little more ease after the loss of a loved one.

    My own experience this year has been a little bittersweet. As I step more and more into this work, I am right in the middle of two realities. I am feeling fully aligned with my purpose as I bring this work to the world and help learn how to be with the feelings that grief brings up. And my daughter is still not here. I have found myself on the verge of tears several times this past week, as I usually am this time of year. I tell you this not garner sympathy for myself, rather to let you know that no matter how much time has passed, it still hurts, I still miss her, and I still cry. That’s what I mean when I tell you that everyone’s experience of grief is personal and unique. While you don’t get over your loss, you will gain resources to help you to process your feelings when they do come up. Knowing that you have resources eventually allows you to relax. Relaxation allows you to not be so overwhelmed when the feelings come upon you. Finding ways to modify your holiday traditions can give you the space you need when the feelings do come up as well as help you relax knowing that you won’t be reliving the memories in quite the same way.

    I would like to elaborate further on some of the modifications we made to our holiday tradition to help us navigate our holiday seasons.

     

    Change the location of your celebration

    We began traveling during the holidays. We planned vacations during this time of the year to warm tropical locations. This not only took us out of our normal environment, it also provided another layer of relaxation and stress relief.

    Change the way you decorate

    It became too difficult for us to put up a Christmas tree and decorate it with all of Leah’s special ornaments. We decided not to put up a tree the after the 2nd year, and we still have not put up a tree. A couple of years we got a Norfolk pine and decorated it with homemade ornaments. Sometimes we get a poinsettia, an amaryllis or paper whites.

    Christmas Music

    We stopped listening to Christmas music for a while. There were certain songs that were special to our family. Songs we listened to while we decorated our tree, or baked cookies. It was just too hard to hear them the first few years. We gradually started including music again. Now, in limited amount the memories soothe us. Although there is nothing that catches me off guard like hearing a song, tears spring up without warning at times.

    Shopping

    My husband Dan shared in our last Navigating Grief During the Holidays call that going to the shopping mall to shop was too difficult for him the first few years. It was not just the festive atmosphere, but also the memories of shopping trips with Leah. He began shopping online.

    There are many more holiday traditions that can bring up painful memories. Take some time with your own traditions and decide what will make you feel less stressed and overwhelmed this year.

    It’s okay to take care of yourself during this time. Here are some questions to assist you with your inquiry;

    • Where would you like to spend time this holiday season? Will familiar surroundings comfort you?
    • What kind of decorations feels right for you and your family this year? The answer may be different next year.
    • Is there holiday music that is too difficult to hear this year? Are there times that music can soothe you?
    • Are there other traditions that feel too painful right now?

    Give yourself permission to sit with these questions in the days leading up to the holiday season. Trust the answers you receive. Remember to be gentle with yourself at this time. My next newsletter will be dedicated to Radical Self-Care to give you some additional resources to nourish yourself.

    In service to love,

    Nancy

  • Associative Memories and Grief

    I am writing you to this week from snowy Omaha. I am finding that living in a place that has a true winter is bringing up memories from my childhood in Chicago. There is a feeling when you go outside in 10-degree weather that you just don’t get in North Carolina. The air smells different, the sky looks different, the cold goes through your clothes in a matter of minutes no matter how heavy your coat is, and not matter how little skin is exposed. It was not an all-together bad memory. I used to love going to the ice skating rink at the park each day after school. The thrill of skating took my mind off of the cold, or maybe as a child I was not as sensitive to the cold.

    Wearing a heavy winter coat, I felt insulated and was less aware of where I was in space, less aware of others around me. All of these things remind me that associative memory is a strong phenomenon. Associative memory plays a big part in the way grief appears during the holiday season. Associative memory is when our memories are attached to something from a certain time in our past. It can be a food, a smell, a song, or an event, anything that reminds us of the past.

    The smell of risotto cooking reminds me of my grandmother. The smell of Christmas trees reminds me of going out in the cold snowy weather and looking for a tree when I was a child. Seeing a snow village at Christmas time reminds me of Leah. She loved the ceramic town we had and she always arranged it. It is one of our Christmas traditions that we have not been able to resume since she has been gone.

    Learning how to navigate grief during the holiday season is the topic of my 4-part tele-series that begins this Saturday, November 22, 2014. You can still register for the series, and can find more information in the side bar of this newsletter. I want to share with you some of what you will learn in that series.

    The holiday season can be stressful on it own without the added layers of grief. Grief is a difficult emotion to describe because it is made up of so many other feelings such as sadness, anger, devastation, and so many more.

    These feelings often show up in different intensities at different times. What helps you cope one time may make you dissolve into tears the next. Having some skills, or some alternative traditions to draw on when you find yourself hit by intense feelings can help you to cope with the holidays. Here are a few that worked for me.

    Take a look at your family traditions.

    Are there any that feel too painful? Give yourself permission to do things differently or not at all this year. You may feel differently next year.

    A change of scenery may help.

    Traveling to a new destination can take you out of the familiar that may be too painful for you. You will still miss your loved one, and remember past holidays, however you will not be faced every day with constant associative memories that you are not ready to face, especially if your loss has been recent. Even if your loss has not been so recent, take care of your own needs. We still don’t put up a Christmas tree, and it has been 14 years.

    Self-care is especially important during times of stress.

    When I am feeling stress my grief becomes overwhelming. Give yourself some extra self-care this holiday season. I have suggested that you keep a list of things that nourish you, or give you pleasure. Take your list out now and look at it, is there anything you want to add? It is good to have this list handy when you do feel stressed or overwhelmed. You can choose something from your list without having to think of what you want to do when you are already feeling stress. Naps can be great stress relievers, as can mindlessly doodling.

     

    Remember that grief changes with the seasons. What worked this year may not work next year. There is no right or wrong way to meet your grief, no timetable on when you will begin to heal. Give yourself the time you need, honor your own process. Each member of your family will process grief in their own way too. You can let them know their way is ok, sometimes that is all that is needed, to know that however we are processing grief and wherever we are our grief journey is exactly right for us. That can be enough to allow us to relax a little and let the healing begin.

    In service to love,

    Nancy

  • Are You Dreading The Holidays?

    I am writing you to this week from snowy Omaha. I am finding that living in a place that has a true winter is bringing up memories from my childhood in Chicago. There is a feeling when you go outside in 10-degree weather that you just don’t get in North Carolina. The air smells different, the sky looks different, the cold goes through your clothes in a matter of minutes no matter how heavy your coat is, and not matter how little skin is exposed. It was not an all-together bad memory. I used to love going to the ice skating rink at the park each day after school. The thrill of skating took my mind off of the cold, or maybe as a child I was not as sensitive to the cold.

    Wearing a heavy winter coat, I felt insulated and was less aware of where I was in space, less aware of others around me. All of these things remind me that associative memory is a strong phenomenon.

    Associative memory plays a big part in the way grief appears during the holiday season.

    Associative memory is when our memories are attached to something from a certain time in our past. It can be a food, a smell, a song, or an event, anything that reminds us of the past.
    The smell of risotto cooking reminds me of my grandmother. The smell of Christmas trees reminds me of going out in the cold snowy weather and looking for a tree when I was a child. Seeing a snow village at Christmas time reminds me of Leah. She loved the ceramic town we had and she always arranged it. It is one of our Christmas traditions that we have not been able to resume since she has been gone.

    The holiday season can be stressful on it own without the added layers of grief. Grief is a difficult emotion to describe because it is made up of so many other feelings such as sadness, anger, devastation, and so many more.

    These feelings often show up in different intensities at different times.

    What helps you cope one time may make you dissolve into tears the next. Having some skills, or some alternative traditions to draw on when you find yourself hit by intense feelings can help you to cope with the holidays. Here are a few that worked for me.

    Take a look at your family traditions.

    Are there any that feel too painful? Give yourself permission to do things differently or not at all this year. You may feel differently next year.

    A change of scenery may help.

    Traveling to a new destination can take you out of the familiar that may be too painful for you. You will still miss your loved one, and remember past holidays, however you will not be faced every day with constant associative memories that you are not ready to face, especially if your loss has been recent. Even if your loss has not been so recent, take care of your own needs. We still don’t put up a Christmas tree, and it has been 14 years.

    Self-care is especially important during times of stress.

    When I am feeling stress my grief becomes overwhelming. Give yourself some extra self-care this holiday season. I have suggested that you keep a list of things that nourish you, or give you pleasure. Take your list out now and look at it, is there anything you want to add? It is good to have this list handy when you do feel stressed or overwhelmed. You can choose something from your list without having to think of what you want to do when you are already feeling stress. Naps can be great stress relievers, as can mindlessly doodling.

    Remember that grief changes with the seasons.

    What worked this year may not work next year. There is no right or wrong way to meet your grief, no timetable on when you will begin to heal. Give yourself the time you need, honor your own process. Each member of your family will process grief in their own way too. You can let them know their way is ok, sometimes that is all that is needed, to know that however we are processing grief and wherever we are our grief journey is exactly right for us. That can be enough to allow us to relax a little and let the healing begin.

     

  • And The Winner Is….

    A few weeks ago I asked for help deciding what to call myself. I received great feedback, from choosing one of the names I shared to suggestions of alternate names. It seems that every name that arose to describe what I do resonated with someone. I sat with all of the names for a few weeks. One name was not rising to the top easily. One day Grief Journey Guide nudged me, and the next day Grief Coach wanted to make its name heard. Something about Grief evolution spoke to me as well as Mentor and Partner. I can tell you now that my own favorite was Grief Alchemist, and yet as I continued to sit with the energy of all of these names, I did not resonate with calling myself any of them.

    It was then that I realized that all of them describe a part of my work and none of them described me.

    It took me back to my childhood when I did not like to be labeled. I didn’t want to be put in one box so that someone would only know me as “the quiet one”. While I certainly was quiet back then, inside I felt like a lot of other things, I was just unable to describe them at the time, hence the label quiet one.

    Now though I am not quite as quiet. I have come to know and understand my strengths and characteristics. I can tell you what they are and for the most part I feel comfortable doing so. And even though naming what I am as I bring my work to the world is not merely a label; it brought up some of those old feelings.
    This is another example of how what we face everyday gives us opportunity to revisit old wounds and feelings. This experience allowed me to integrate and heal a part of myself that quite frankly I was unaware needed healing. This is what happens when we follow the thread of the present moment and be with whatever that moment excavates for us.

    Pay attention to everyday occurrences.

     

    When something stands out, ask yourself if there is a lesson there. Drop the question into your heart, that is, breathe and become aware of your heart center, bring the question to your heart and see if an answer arises. As you continue this practice, you may be surprised what you learn about yourself.

    So what did I decide to call myself? What was very clear to me as I sat with all of the names and your responses is that I do not have to call myself anything. I do not have to limit the perception of what I do to one name. All of the names describe a part of how I interface with a client and do not conclusively summarize everything I do. I will use all of the names as descriptors. The clients that are drawn to my work will come to me through my descriptions of how I work and what I do. Here they are again. Look at them now, not as defining who I am, but rather as describing how I am with a client.

    Grief Evolution Specialist/Coach
    Grief Transformation Specialist/Coach
    Grief Alchemist
    Grief Journey Guide
    Grief Process Partner
    Grief Journey Coach
    Grief Mentor

    Thank you all for your help with this process. Whether you contributed a name or simply read the email and considered what name you were drawn to, you all held the space for me to integrate this lesson. I am grateful.

     

  • What I Did on My Vacation

    Dan and I went to a wedding celebration last week. My goddaughter got married earlier this summer on a family vacation and held a party for friends and family to celebrate her marriage. We had a wonderful time connecting and reconnecting with friends, some we hadn’t seen since we moved from Chicago in 1993. We also experienced a few difficult moments.

    Weddings have been hard for us since Leah died. Knowing we would never celebrate her wedding with her, never witness her stepping into partnership with her beloved. The first several wedding we attended were most difficult. Seeing the bride escorted down the aisle by her dad was almost more than we could bear. We would step outside for the father daughter dance at the reception. We did what we need to do to care for our fragile psyches. As hard as these times were for us, it was important for us to honor each new bride and groom as they made a new family. It was a way for us to affirm life and celebrate with our friends and family.

    We emerged from this latest wedding celebration with the knowing that our attendance at the party was as healing for us as it was for others who know our story. Yes, we did step outside as the bride danced with her dad. It surprised us how fresh the feelings of grief still are at times.

    We did not let our “close to the surface tears” stop us from dancing. One of the songs that was played was “My Girl”. Dan and I used to sing that song to Leah when she was a baby, and she loved it. She always danced to it herself. We knew that she too was in attendance blessing the marriage and reminding us that she remains close to us when we miss her most.

    If you find yourself in a similar place after the loss of a loved one, do what you need to do to take care of yourself. If attending an event is too difficult, honor yourself where you are. Or change things up from what you normally do. There are ways to get through the difficult special events and milestones. The first step is to acknowledge your feelings as they are. In a future blog I will share some specific ways to meet a milestone day or holiday.

  • Where are you Being Called?

    My guidance lately has been scrupulous devotion to the present moment. Deeply diving into the mystery of each moment. The stories in my head are active. They ask me that how can I be productive if I am spending all my time being in the present moment. And while “production” has not been my biggest goal right now as I come out of the processing of the most recent dip into the well of grief, things are getting done. I am pretty sure I am doing them since I made the list that has items crossed off. My inquiry each morning is, show me the mystery of each moment. I am getting clearer and clearer about what that means.

    These are some of my discoveries:

    Time takes on a different dimension.

    When I am in the moment I am lost in my activity. I am not looking at the clock, or checking email or Facebook. I am more focused. There is more flow in my day.

    I am living more and more from a place of abundance, nourishment and pleasure rather than deprivation. I ask myself more often if my actions support life. When they don’t, I take some time to bring those feelings to my heart and ask why they don’t support life.

    I can’t describe the mystery of the present moment and I yet I know it when I am there. This is another way of saying I am getting more and more comfortable being in the unknown. A place where I do not need to know why, a place of surrender.

    The present moment is where the magic happens.

    Where alchemy happens. It is where the unexplainable is transformed into the understood.

    I am not suggesting that you take on my practice for your own. For too long I tried to mimic the practice of someone I admired as my own. What works for one person may not necessarily work for another.

    I would like to invite you into your own heart to discover what practice, what self-care ritual, what creative endeavors are calling to you.

    Take some time each day to ask yourself one or more of these questions. Choose the ones that call to you.

    What inspires me?

    What nourishes me?

    Where is life calling me?

    Write down all of your answers. What keeps coming up and just will not let you alone? That is a clue for you. Maybe it is something that you do now and you are being called deeper into that practice. Or maybe it is something brand new to you. Whatever it is, take some time to investigate how you can add it to your life. Remember you can think of it as an experiment. Try it for a while. You can always try something else later. This is your life.

    Create the life that expresses your true essence.

    A life that inspires you to live your best life possible.
    I’d love to hear what you think. Send me an email, or leave a comment below.

  • Another Turn of the Spiral of Grief

    I didn’t think it was possible to go any deeper into the initiation of my daughter Leah’s death, I really didn’t. I’ve been at it for almost 14 years now. It led me out of the depths of devastation. It led me to step fully into this work. And yet I find myself going deeper. As I spend my time writing my book and preparing my speech I am revisiting memories that I haven’t thought about for a long time. Each time I do there is a little more insight into my life, Leah’s life and my path here on planet earth. What I realize is that the grief process is a spiral. As I revisit memories of her life and death today, I am ready to go deeper than I did before. The spiral is taking a new turn and from this vantage point things look different. As I look at memories from here and gain new insights, I am reminded that this is now my work. The extent that I am able to engage my own ongoing grief journey is directly related to the way I can show up to help others. This is a humbling realization. The heartening thing for me is that my journey does have a purpose. I really have come into the true expression of myself, a longing that I always had. It just looks different than I ever imagined it would look, and the path it took and is taking is certainly not what I would have chosen, at least consciously.

    Do you have a longing to step into a life that you have always known is possible?

    The good news is that you already have what you are looking for, and the ways to excavate it are already present in your life. If you are ready to discover what your heart already knows, here are some steps you can take to bring you closer to your longing.

    Take a look around.

    Are you finding yourself in some of the same situations again and again and wondering why?

    What is the common denominator with all of them?
    What lessons do these situations have for you?

    Every experience you have is bringing you a lesson that is valid for you and you alone.

    You will continue to have similar experiences until you learn the lesson they are presenting. Take some time to sit quietly and contemplate these questions. If you have been following my newsletter or blog for a while and have been cultivating your Samyama practice you can bring these lessons to your heart and ask what message they may have for you.

    Be willing to not know what the answer will be.

    The answers may not arise immediately; however if you are faithful to this practice you will begin to notice a shift in your perceptions. You will begin to see a different way of being or of doing things.

    Pay attention, whatever shows up for you is valid, no matter how small it seems.

    Don’t discount it as not important, or applicable to others and not you. Become familiar with how your intuition communicates with you. Once you begin to trust this process in you, it will become second nature.

    I am telling you this as someone who not only didn’t trust my intuition, and who for a very long time denied its very existence. It took me a long time to realize that the way I experience things are valid for me only.
    When you begin to embrace the qualities that make you who you are, you will begin to feel more comfortable in your skin. Use this feeling to confirm that you are on the right track.

    I’d love to hear what you think. Send me an email, or leave a comment below.