A few weeks ago I asked for help deciding what to call myself. I received great feedback, from choosing one of the names I shared to suggestions of alternate names. It seems that every name that arose to describe what I do resonated with someone. I sat with all of the names for a few weeks. One name was not rising to the top easily. One day Grief Journey Guide nudged me, and the next day Grief Coach wanted to make its name heard. Something about Grief evolution spoke to me as well as Mentor and Partner. I can tell you now that my own favorite was Grief Alchemist, and yet as I continued to sit with the energy of all of these names, I did not resonate with calling myself any of them.

It was then that I realized that all of them describe a part of my work and none of them described me.

It took me back to my childhood when I did not like to be labeled. I didn’t want to be put in one box so that someone would only know me as “the quiet one”. While I certainly was quiet back then, inside I felt like a lot of other things, I was just unable to describe them at the time, hence the label quiet one.

Now though I am not quite as quiet. I have come to know and understand my strengths and characteristics. I can tell you what they are and for the most part I feel comfortable doing so. And even though naming what I am as I bring my work to the world is not merely a label; it brought up some of those old feelings.
This is another example of how what we face everyday gives us opportunity to revisit old wounds and feelings. This experience allowed me to integrate and heal a part of myself that quite frankly I was unaware needed healing. This is what happens when we follow the thread of the present moment and be with whatever that moment excavates for us.

Pay attention to everyday occurrences.


When something stands out, ask yourself if there is a lesson there. Drop the question into your heart, that is, breathe and become aware of your heart center, bring the question to your heart and see if an answer arises. As you continue this practice, you may be surprised what you learn about yourself.

So what did I decide to call myself? What was very clear to me as I sat with all of the names and your responses is that I do not have to call myself anything. I do not have to limit the perception of what I do to one name. All of the names describe a part of how I interface with a client and do not conclusively summarize everything I do. I will use all of the names as descriptors. The clients that are drawn to my work will come to me through my descriptions of how I work and what I do. Here they are again. Look at them now, not as defining who I am, but rather as describing how I am with a client.

Grief Evolution Specialist/Coach
Grief Transformation Specialist/Coach
Grief Alchemist
Grief Journey Guide
Grief Process Partner
Grief Journey Coach
Grief Mentor

Thank you all for your help with this process. Whether you contributed a name or simply read the email and considered what name you were drawn to, you all held the space for me to integrate this lesson. I am grateful.