|What did I learn from my down time, while I was recovering from
As I reflect on this time, it is clear to me that my surgery and the time
after was not down time at all. Let me explain.
Since the beginning of this year I’ve been aware of clarity of language, more precisely, how I use language and how my words influence me.
The time spent preparing, during, and recovering from my surgery were anything but down time. Yes, I was not participating in the activities that were a part of my daily life before surgery, however, there was plenty going on. Some of this was doing and some of this was not doing.
In the days and weeks immediately following surgery, I was not doing
much. I was resting, sleeping, resting, and sleeping. It was my body that was doing the healing, even though I couldn’t see what was going on.
There were anesthesia drugs to be flushed, bones and skin to be knitted, and muscle to be healed. There were times when I was certain that I
could hear them all knitting and purling in there.
There wasn’t much that I could do for myself. I needed help with just about everything. I had an opportunity to re-examine my relationship with giving and receiving and asking for what I needed. I learned more about gratitude, humility, and about my own natural rhythm.
As I emerged more and more each week, it felt like I wasn’t put together the same way as I was before, that I was cellularly changed. Yes, I now have a bionic shoulder, and
there are parts of me that are no longer with me, but this felt deeper, like I was more in alignment with my Truth.
My recovery time was a time of slowing down; I had an opportunity to be with the feelings that surfaced during this time. I’m grateful for the gift of extra time to explore my internal life more deeply. This prescribed time of slowing down was timed nicely during the yearlong quest that I began on my 64th birthday. I wrote these words last year as I made the intention to enter this quest;
I acknowledge that when I am fully aware and awake in my life that everything that I encounter is in service to my yearlong intention; every experience, every encounter, every insight, everything. Enough time and space will be required to integrate these experiences. I commit fully to this quest. June 13, 2018.
When I wrote those words, I had no idea that a shoulder replacement would be one of the necessary experiences of this year. Here is some of what I know now, 3+ months after my surgery and 3+ weeks before the end of my yearlong quest on my 65th birthday.
I long for the luxury of unstructured time, not to wile away the hours with distraction, rather to allow curiosity to lead me to my next adventure or initiation.
I desire to listen deeply to my innermost heart. It is here that I connect
with my soul, my intuition, and my inner rhythm.
I am done with efforting; trying to do something. I now know that efforting isn’t necessary when I’m dancing to my soul’s rhythm and purpose.
When I listen to my soul’s purpose, it always leads to right action,
whether in my work, creating sacred space in my home or body, learning, reflecting, or playing.
These are some of the questions that began arising as I became curious;
What deeply nourishes me, body, mind, and soul? What brings me
pleasure and fun? How do I play?
How can I bring a sense of ease and flow to my work? What do I need
each day to nurture all parts of me?
I’m sure there will be more insights in the next three weeks, or maybe
not. Maybe the next three weeks will be for integrating what has already happened, even those things I know nothing about yet. I do know that
I feel so much gratitude for this path I am on; for the capacity to live my life unapologetically as me.
Where is life calling you in this moment?