I’ve been thinking about my inner rebel a lot lately. She’s the one who tries to get my attention by eating gluten, or having that one more glass of wine, or “just a few chips”. She gets my attention all right, my body no longer wants gluten or wine or chips. My body feels better without all those things, but she is persistent. I used to try to ignore her or try to reason with her. That didn’t work; her attempts to get my attention would get louder and more insistent. So I decided to talk to her, to find out what she wanted. As soon as I asked her what she wanted, my body felt lighter, my headache subsided. Now I will tell you that I have engaged her before, she is a part of me that needs to be met, but I never approached her in quite the same way.
I asked her to dance.
Yep you heard right, I asked her to dance, and she got giddy, she was noticed, she didn’t have to get my attention by other tactics. She just wants love like all the parts of us that feel neglected and abandoned. Is there a part of you that needs attention? A part of yourself that is trying to get your attention in ways that take you away from living your life to its fullest? This is the gift in learning to listen to your body. You learn what your body needs to feel fully alive. The bonus here is you also meet parts of yourself that have been acting out. By meeting them fully and hearing what they have to tell you, you can harness their energy and they can contribute to your whole self.
So I danced with my rebel, (yes, literally) and I asked her what she wanted. I have come to love my rebel and I told I want her to express herself in my life. And I need her to express in a way that does not debilitate my body, because these days if my body isn’t feeling good, I don’t have the energy to dance with her. We made a pact to support each other so we can both live fully and joyfully.
Is there a part of yourself that wants to be expressed that you are fighting? Here are some ways to begin to make peace with those parts of you.
Every part of us wants to be loved.
If that sounds like too much right now you can start out by just noticing the parts of you that you may want to “get rid of” or “stop what they are doing”. Just notice, breathe, and start by letting that part of you know that you are noticing. Do this until you feel like you are ready to move deeper with your work around this. If you’re not sure what part of yourself to start with, you too may have a rebel, or a protector, or a teenager, or a vigilant part of yourself. You may have all of these, start with one, the one that you are noticing the most. You can also ask the age of this part of you. Often times a younger version of you did not get their needs met at a certain age and will show up later as that same age with the same unmet feelings.
Ask the part of yourself you are working with what they want.
They may not answer right away, this part of you is not used to you paying attention to it. Be compassionate with yourself, and keep asking. You can ask the part of yourself you are working with to write to you, ask any questions you want and let them write when they are ready. There is no time limit on this work, some days might feel easier than others, notice any shifts or changes in your relationship with this part of you.
As you continue to engage these parts of yourself that you usually try to keep hidden,
you will learn that they have gifts for you.
They are a part of you and you can learn to accept them and integrate them into your life. Do you have to dance with them? Only if that is what they want. Maybe they want to write, or draw or paint. Maybe they want to garden or take a walk, or listen to music., or maybe they don’t want you to be so busy. You won’t know for sure until you meet all the wonderful parts that make up you and
ask them what they want and need from you.
Meeting all the parts of yourself that you want to hide is the path toward stepping into your fully expressed life.
I’d love to hear what you think. Send me an email, or comment below.