Category: Transformation

As I start this new business I am reminded that is has been almost a year since I left my job to begin my new work. It still amazes me the direction it is now taking. I was reflecting recently about grief as a normal cycle of life. The grief that arises when you leave a long time job, even if it was stressful and no longer serves your higher goals or purpose in life. Or the grief you feel when a relationship changes or ends. Or the grief you feel when you lose a job unexpectedly. Each time your life does not proceed in a way you expected or wanted it to, there can be grief. We don’t often look upon these types of occasions as times of grief. We may be told that everything happens for a reason, better times are ahead, or just to get over it. None of that is helpful when there is grief. How can you meet grief that is a normal cycle of life? I offer a few suggestions below.

When you lose a job, end a relationship or your life takes some other unexpected turn,
name it as grief, as a loss, as something or someone you will miss. Take some time to feel the feelings that this loss evokes.

What are some ways you can make space and time to let these feelings in?

Honor your feelings.

Everyone has their own way of processing feelings, and feelings about grief are no different. If you feel sad, let yourself cry. Write about your feelings. Sometimes capturing your feelings in your journal can give you some perspective. How might you honor your feelings in a way that feels true to who you are?

Give yourself the time you need to process your grief.

No one knows how long it will take you to shift your feelings, not even you. By diligently attending to your feelings and your process, one day you feel a shift, receive a new insight or awareness and see things differently. Allow yourself to acknowledge these new insights when they come.

When you allow yourself to process grief in the normal course of your life, you will gain understanding into how you process grief when it is a bigger grief experience. A friend shared with me the observation that all the everyday grief experiences are practice for when we face bigger grief experiences.

How can you honor your everyday sorrows so you can become more adept at feeling these feelings?

Be open to surrender and let go when it feels right to do so. Hanging on to things from our past that no longer serve us keeps us from being in the present moment. When we don’t honor our own grieving processes we tend to hold on to things, hoping our experience will change and things will go back to being the way they were. What are some ways you can surrender what no longer serves you? How do you know you are ready to surrender old stuff?

When we are able to grieve those everyday occurrences in a way that honors where we are we can then move through those experiences and be ready and open to receive whatever is coming our way next. For instance, if we are constantly wondering why we lost our job and rehashing what happened, we may not see the next new possibility that is just around the corner. Staying open requires we stay present.

How can you stay present?

What has worked for you in the past?

I’d love to hear what you think.

This past weekend I attended a retreat at the Joyful Journey Hot Springs in Colorado with my Business Priestess coaching group. The retreat provided for wonderful connection with the women in the group, yoga, feminine embodiment work, sharing of good food, breaks in the hot springs, and laser coaching.

I started a novena, a 9-day prayer ritual, the week before the retreat. I planned it this way so that the 9th day would coincide with the last day of the retreat. My intention for the novena was,

” I am ready and willing to step fully into my work. I ask for clarity to unapologetically stand in my Truth to serve the world in alignment with Divine Intent.”

I spent time each day sitting in prayer with my intent, and writing about my process.
When it came time for my laser coaching “hot seat” I was feeling a deep connection with all of the other women. My time in the chair came after some amazing work by my sister business priestesses. I watched major breakthroughs and up leveling. I was in awe of the deep work we were doing.

I wondered what would happen when it way my turn. As I sat in the chair and began describing my business, I also shared one of my revelations from day 2 or 3 of my novena. That the initiation of my daughter Leah’s death birthed me to do the work I was called to do in the world, that a life of joy is possible even after such a devastating life event. I was then asked this question,

” Why are you not helping people navigate their grief journeys and showing them the possibilities of a joyful life?”

I gulped. A part of me said, “but what about all I have done to get Nourished Body Wild Heart launched?” Another part of me said

“Finally!”

The leaders of the group continued to skillfully guide me with questions to excavate my true calling. I felt like I was in the company of loving midwives. As I got closer and closer to stepping fully into work as a grief counselor, I felt my body aligning with my purpose. I felt the energy of this work rising from my core. I remembered all the times since Leah died that I said I was going to help others recover a life of joy after losing a loved one.

And finally, I stepped fully and unapologetically into my work as a grief counselor, and Being With Grief was born.

My skills as an Eating Psychology Coach will go into my medicine bag along with Samyama and other skills I have learned throughout my own journey.
The work I did with Nourished Body Wild Heart (NBWH) is important, and I will still do that work with all my current clients, and future clients who want that kind of support. It will be a smaller focus of my business now. I always thought after I fully established NBWH I would add grief work into the mix. Now the reverse is true.
Part of my work with NBWH is to help my clients step fully into their authentic selves, to discover the work they were meant to bring to the world.

My own authentic voice finally made herself heard, and I can no longer ignore her voice. I have always said that losing Leah was too high a price to pay to not be who I was meant to be. The work of the past almost 14 years has led me back to my heart.

“You must forsake a thousand half-loves to bring a whole heart home. ” Rumi

I will talk more about my process in future newsletters and tell you more about Being With Grief. For now I hope you will continue to receive my newsletters in their new format. This will be the last Nourished Body Wild Heart newsletter; from now on they will go out as Being With Grief.