This past weekend I attended a retreat at the Joyful Journey Hot Springs in Colorado with my Business Priestess coaching group. The retreat provided for wonderful connection with the women in the group, yoga, feminine embodiment work, sharing of good food, breaks in the hot springs, and laser coaching.
I started a novena, a 9-day prayer ritual, the week before the retreat. I planned it this way so that the 9th day would coincide with the last day of the retreat. My intention for the novena was,
” I am ready and willing to step fully into my work. I ask for clarity to unapologetically stand in my Truth to serve the world in alignment with Divine Intent.”
I spent time each day sitting in prayer with my intent, and writing about my process.
When it came time for my laser coaching “hot seat” I was feeling a deep connection with all of the other women. My time in the chair came after some amazing work by my sister business priestesses. I watched major breakthroughs and up leveling. I was in awe of the deep work we were doing.
I wondered what would happen when it way my turn. As I sat in the chair and began describing my business, I also shared one of my revelations from day 2 or 3 of my novena. That the initiation of my daughter Leah’s death birthed me to do the work I was called to do in the world, that a life of joy is possible even after such a devastating life event. I was then asked this question,
” Why are you not helping people navigate their grief journeys and showing them the possibilities of a joyful life?”
I gulped. A part of me said, “but what about all I have done to get Nourished Body Wild Heart launched?” Another part of me said
The leaders of the group continued to skillfully guide me with questions to excavate my true calling. I felt like I was in the company of loving midwives. As I got closer and closer to stepping fully into work as a grief counselor, I felt my body aligning with my purpose. I felt the energy of this work rising from my core. I remembered all the times since Leah died that I said I was going to help others recover a life of joy after losing a loved one.
And finally, I stepped fully and unapologetically into my work as a grief counselor, and Being With Grief was born.
My skills as an Eating Psychology Coach will go into my medicine bag along with Samyama and other skills I have learned throughout my own journey.
The work I did with Nourished Body Wild Heart (NBWH) is important, and I will still do that work with all my current clients, and future clients who want that kind of support. It will be a smaller focus of my business now. I always thought after I fully established NBWH I would add grief work into the mix. Now the reverse is true.
Part of my work with NBWH is to help my clients step fully into their authentic selves, to discover the work they were meant to bring to the world.
My own authentic voice finally made herself heard, and I can no longer ignore her voice. I have always said that losing Leah was too high a price to pay to not be who I was meant to be. The work of the past almost 14 years has led me back to my heart.
“You must forsake a thousand half-loves to bring a whole heart home. ” Rumi
I will talk more about my process in future newsletters and tell you more about Being With Grief. For now I hope you will continue to receive my newsletters in their new format. This will be the last Nourished Body Wild Heart newsletter; from now on they will go out as Being With Grief.