This chapter foreshadows the birth of my work with clients. As I read about my experience of early grief, I get a sense of going through that time with blinders on. From where I am today, I can see a bigger picture. Back then I felt lost in a maze, not knowing which way to [...]
This was a hard chapter to read, and as I recall it was a hard one to write. It tells the story of my relationship with Leah and some of the struggles we had as she was growing up. I remember when I was writing it that I wanted to be true to the [...]
Recently we took a family vacation with our son and his family. We went to northern MN, to the boundary waters. The lake we were at was at the Canadian border. As a matter of fact, the border was in the middle of the lake. Here are some photos of our trip. I think they [...]
Grief is not linear I used to think that I would move through each stage of grief progressively. When I completed one stage, I would move to the next, never to return again. Grief is nothing like that. It is messy and chaotic. Especially in the early days, we can be all over the place. [...]
Living close to my son and his family means I get to watch my granddaughter Arya’s growth and development. At a little over 1 year old, she is currently learning to walk. I’ve watched her progress over the last several weeks, first pulling herself up with both hands and walking along from chair to chair, [...]
After I began helping others to navigate their grief, I thought to myself, “This is the life I was meant to live”; referencing the message I heard shortly after Leah died that said, Losing Leah is too high a price to pay to not live the life you were meant to live. About this time, [...]
I’m often asked what it means to heal from grief. It’s a question I’ve pondered for over 20 years, and I’m not sure even now I know what it means. We hear often that “Time heals all wounds.” Time by itself isn’t the only factor; it’s what you do with that time that makes the [...]
When I saw this question as a prompt my first thought was, “No one will be interested in that.” Then I realized that quite often, my first thought is an attempt to avoid a place that feels too vulnerable. I wondered why I felt vulnerable writing about what inspires me. My biggest inspiration is my [...]
I’m often asked how I can be joyful and live the life I am living when I’m doing it without my daughter’s presence in my life. I’m asked if I have gotten over her death, or if I’ve healed and accepted her death. I will never get over Leah’s death. I’ve had a 20-year [...]
It’s been 8 months since we’ve moved to St. Paul from Raleigh, NC. We moved here to be closer to my son and his family. Our granddaughter Ayra was born in July of 2020, and after we met her, we knew that we wanted to be a part of her everyday life. One of the [...]
