Seeing the words grief and recovery together is often the first awareness many people have that recovery from loss is even possible.
Grief is the normal and natural emotional reaction to any major change you experience in life. Grief is the result of the uncommunicated feelings and emotions that we are unable to express due to the loss. Dealing effectively with these uncommunicated issues and what we wish that could have been different, better or more is the goal of the Grief Recovery method.
The grief recovery method offers an Action-Based Program for Moving Beyond Death, Divorce, and Other Losses
“Recovery from loss is achieved by a series of small and correct choices made by the griever!”
When grief remains unresolved it can take away any joy that a positive relationship brought to us, with nagging reminders of the pain of that loss.
The Grief Recovery Method gives grievers the opportunity to deal with those things that they wish might have been different or better in that lost relationship. It provides the chance to address incomplete dreams and expectations for the future, which is now not the future that had been planned. It helps effectively address unfinished conversations and any business in that relationship that would continue to cause emotional pain for the rest of their lives.
This method offers a step-by-step guide to dealing with your broken heart. It starts at the beginning with the many “myths” most of us learned as ways to process grief experiences and the things that people say to “fix” us, that never really work.
Myths about grief:
- Time heals all wounds
- Replace the loss
- Grieve alone
- Be strong for others
- Bury your feelings
The Grief Recovery Institute, and its members are proud to say that research conducted by Kent State University has shown that The Grief Recovery Method approach to helping grievers deal with the pain of emotional loss in any relationship is “Evidence Based” and effective.
What this means is that their findings have shown that The Grief Recovery Method goes beyond the level of being a best practice or a promising approach to dealing with the emotional pain of loss. It even goes beyond the level of being research-based. This designation means that there is an actual study that places high confidence that those who follow the Grief Recovery Method Action Plan can successfully, once again, be able to find happiness in their lives, despite the loss they have suffered.
Grief can be that “unwelcome friend” that’s always sitting behind you, whispering sad thoughts in your ear. Think of the many times when you saw or heard something that reminded you of a relationship lost. Often, it stirred up a fond and cherished memory. Then, just moments later, you began to think of things you had planned to do, but never did. You might think of things you wanted to be different or better in that relationship. You might think about things you wished you might have said, but never shared. That fond memory, and any happiness it brought to your life, is now overshadowed by that deep sense of loss.
I enrolled in the Grief Recovery Method course to deal with my own grief. This method gave me the tools that I needed to recover from the grief I felt over losing Leah and I have applied it when other losses happened in my life, so that I could better enjoy those fond memories as well.
Grief can be isolating
For many, the ongoing impact of this emotional pain can overpower. It can also be very isolating. Family and friends may tell you that “they know how you feel,” but the fact of the matter is that they don’t. They may have a sense of how losses have impacted them, but they really have no concept of how your loss in effecting you. Each relationship is unique to that person, which means that how that grief touches your heart is unique to you as well. They may try to “fix” you with various suggestions, but grievers are not broken. They simply need someone to listen without analysis, criticism or judgment.
No matter what anyone says, you never “get over” an emotional loss. Human beings don’t have a “delete” button that can be pushed to make us forget. You can, however, take action to survive and thrive in spite of it. To do so is in no way discounting the value of that relationship. There are some people who believe that the proof of the importance of a relationship lost is that they must live in misery forever. This sense of misery, however, tends to dispel the many elements of joy that the relationship every brought to your life. The true testament of a valuable relationship is that you can share the many positive aspects of it with others, without being overwhelmed by your sadness at not making more fond memories.
Recovery is never about forgetting. It’s about taking action to deal with all the “unfinished business” in a relationship. It involves taking a guided inventory of all the positive (and less than positive) elements of that relationship and resolving those things you might have wished had been different, better or more. Doing this will allow you to be able to enjoy fond memories, without regrets, and to plan, rather than worrying about what it will bring.
This is the very thing that most grievers really want, but do not believe is possible.
What I, and most other grievers, really needed was a “roadmap” to taking the actions I needed for each of my own unique emotional losses.
I found that roadmap in “The Grief Recovery Handbook”. This was not the story of another’s woe or something written for my head, but rather It covers those things we try to do to make us feel better, that only help in the moment we are doing them, and moves on into the actions we can take to successfully deal with the unfinished business. The authors, John James and Russell Friedman, lead you through these directed actions with examples of doing the same work in their own lives. They walk with you through the process hand in hand, rather than just telling you what needs to be done. Best of all, it is written to your heart, which is broken, rather than to your head, which is not!
This approach really changed my life!
Everyone’s grief is different, based on his or her own unique relationships. The Grief Recovery Method offers a roadmap that adapts to your own personal journey to offer you an opportunity to take actions for yourself. It offers those important “small and correct choices” for you!